Behavior terms, explained

Active Listening

Fully focusing on, understanding, and responding to what someone is saying without interrupting or judging.

Blame Shifting

Redirecting responsibility for one's actions or mistakes onto someone else, avoiding accountability.

Breadcrumbing

Sending sporadic, minimal messages or gestures to keep someone interested without any intention of committing.

Coercive Control

A pattern of behaviors used to dominate and control a partner through fear, isolation, and intimidation.

DARVO

A manipulation tactic where the person Denies the behavior, Attacks the accuser, and Reverses Victim and Offender roles.

Digital Surveillance

Using technology to control, monitor, harass, or intimidate a partner.

Emotional Blackmail

Using fear, obligation, or guilt to coerce someone into doing what you want.

Financial Control

Using money and financial resources to control or manipulate a partner, limiting their independence.

Future Faking

Making elaborate promises about a shared future with no intention of following through, to keep someone invested.

Gaslighting

A pattern of manipulating someone into doubting their memory, perception, or reality.

Guilt Tripping

Making someone feel guilty to get them to do something or to control their behavior.

Healthy Conflict

Expressing disagreement or frustration directly and respectfully, focusing on the issue rather than attacking the person.

Hoovering

Attempts by an abusive or toxic person to suck you back into a relationship after you've distanced yourself or left.

Intermittent Reinforcement

Unpredictably alternating between warmth and coldness to keep someone off-balance and emotionally hooked.

Isolation

Systematically cutting someone off from friends, family, and support networks to increase control over them.

Jealousy

Feeling or expressing possessiveness, suspicion, or insecurity about a partner's interactions with others.

Love Bombing

Overwhelming someone with intense affection, attention, and gifts early in a relationship to gain control and create dependency.

Passive Aggression

Expressing negative feelings indirectly rather than openly, through behaviors like sarcasm, silent treatment, or sabotage.

Physical Abuse

Any physical act that causes fear, harm, or injury, including intimidating physical behavior.

Projection

Accusing someone else of the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors you yourself are experiencing or doing.

Respecting Boundaries

Accepting and honoring another person's limits, needs, and autonomy without pushing back or retaliating.

Setting Boundaries

Clearly communicating your needs, limits, and expectations while respecting those of others.

Silent Treatment

Deliberately refusing communication to punish or control another person, rather than taking healthy space.

Stonewalling

Refusing to engage in communication or emotionally withdrawing during conflict.

Triangulation

Bringing a third person into a relationship dynamic to create rivalry, jealousy, or to manipulate one party.

Verbal Abuse

Using words to harm, control, intimidate, or demean another person.